This & That

Boy #1 has been in his adoptive*placement for about a month now. Unfortunately, my prediction of his honeymoon crash was about right on. I said Mid-January...I missed it by a few days. As I told the daycare worker, his personality isn't going to change just because he goes to live with someone else. He has reverted to his old hitting, biting,temper tantrums of yore.
Boy #2 who has been with us for over 2 yrs will hopefully be matched with a family soon. This one is really going to hurt, I think. He came to us at 3 months. We are all he knows. The SW* said she was going to tell Bm she had to come in & sign over her rights this week (this was BM's idea) I hope and pray for a good family for my boy. God knows he deserves it. I hope to God they will do this transition the way it is supposed to be done. We shall see. This time I will have "people" in the meeting who will (in theory) oversee that is done correctly. Again, we will see.
--------------------------------------------------
Now for THE Boy.
While driving home from taekwondo tonight he said, "mommy, I took a bite of an eraser today & it made my tummy not feel good." I said, why did you EAT an eraser?
He said I didn't EAT it, I just took a bite. Ok, well then, don't take any more bites of erasers. He said," That sounds like a good idea". That comes from a boy so picky an eater that eats a total of 4 things. Why on God's green earth would that boy take a bite of an eraser???!! Boys...I'll never understand them.

Girl Noises

The Boy is at the point where he doesn't want to go into public "girl" bathrooms.
Kinda makes it tricky when it's just me and him.
We happened to be at a place today that has "family bathrooms". So I took him in there. After we got in there, he said,"Is this a boy's bathroom?" I told a half lie and said "yes".
Then he said "well, you better not make any gwurl(girl) noises".
I'm not sure what gwurl noises are. So I just stood there.

* SNORT * SnOrT*

You've got to watch this all the way through.




I agree with everything she says.

A Spoiled Nation

It took snow in our little neck of the woods to show me what a spoiled nation we are. Oh, you can say and mean it,but do we really understand the extent of it until we HAVE to experience it?
I've been to and lived in other countries. So I do understand most of the time what a great & grand country we live in. I understand what we have is not free. I watched and lived 18 years while I watched my husband and other great men & women uphold our "right" to be spoiled.
OTHER nations appear to understand that "groceries",produce,milk, eggs, meat, ect,ect do not just materialize in the store. But not our nation.
Yesterday, between the ice melting & then refreezing the husband ventured out for milk, because after 4 days, we really had run out. At the store he found the produce section decimated, no bananas,carrots,
just a few bruised apples. The meat department bare. No beef or chicken. Only some small packs of pork. No orange juice in the coolers. Only the stuff no one drinks,like acia berry according to him.
Bread...gone. Milk...gone. I did get half & half for my coffee.
Today is not looking much better, either. The reason of course is because the transfer trucks are not able to make their deliveries either. But folks don't seem to understand that. On the news, people were blaming the "government"! REALLY? Is this how disconnected we are as to where our food comes from? It seems to me a little common sense goes a long way. Evidently their common sense froze with the roads.
We really do have an entitlement mentality as a nation. It is a frightening glimpse at how accustomed to abundance we are.

Yoomi for Ipad...get it, you - Me ?

Discovery Bay Games has come out with YOOMI, a game that is played with an extra accessory called the Duo. Yoomi is a simple game that can be played by up to six people that are given seven tokens each. It makes your Ipad into a family board game.
The iPad app gives each player a question asking about their choice between two things or activities such as “big bugs” or “small dogs” or “collect coins” or “collect stamps”. After the player puts in her choice under the hidden cover of the round Duo accessory, the other players place their bets on what they think her choice was by placing a token on one of the two trays on top of the Duo. The accessory then drops the tokens of the users that guessed correctly into a “bank”. The first player that gets rid of all their tokens wins.



It says ages 8+, but The Boy had no problems playing along with some prompting.
It's a fun addition to the Ipad, making the Ipad a no so solo adventure.
The best part is the nice people at Mom Select have given me one for YOU too. You can get the free Yoomi App from www.itunes.com/appstore.

*Just leave me a comment on what your favorite App is for your Ipad.
The Boy has more on ours than we do. But boy are they cool!
All comments must be left by Wed 1/12/11 @ noon.

It's snowing again

And this just ain't the norm 'round here.
All I can think of is Snow Cream. It was the biggest treat in the whole world when I was a little girl. It rarely snowed, so we rarely got it. If you're from the south I don't need to say anymore about Snow Cream. You KNOW.
God willing, the creek don't rise & Jesus don't come, I will be making Snow Cream tomorrow!
The Boy (if he'll eat it) will be in for a big treat...me too!

Conversations With A Boy

"Mommy, I've been watching you drive and now I know how to do it. I just need my legs to grow more and then I'll be able to drive."

**I now cover his head with a pillow case, so he can no longer watch me drive. I can't imagine what insurance will be for a teenage boy in 11 years.

**you know that's not true, that would be terrible parenting & cruel. I make him cover his eyes with his hands.

Added @ 10:15pm : he just came in and asked if he could go downstairs and build the Wall of Jerico. When I told him I didn't think the Play room was big enough for the Wall of Jerico, he said he'd only make a little one. It would take less time to march around it ...he wants to see how long it will take for it to fall down. I'm too old for this.

It just doesn't do THIS around here

That is snow, people. On Christmas day. The word around here is that hasn't happened since 1892! IF we get snow it's usually in late Jan. or Feb. and then it gently floats down and promptly melts. Just the way we like it.
With a sick Boy here, this snow did us no snowman making good. Hopefully it will all be gone in a few hours/days.

A Serious Public Service Announcement

How can "they", who ever they may be, do this........

There's a site called Spokeo.com that's a new online, USA phone book w/personalinformation: everything from pics you've posted on FB or web, your approx credit score, home value, income, age, etc. You can remove yourself by first searching for yourself on their site to find the URL of your page, Copy that the URL ,then going back to their home page, Go to the Privacy button on the bottom of their page to remove yourself.

Just what I need, one more way for Bp or crazy people to find me or know my personal stuff.

A New Man in my life

I've waited a few years for this man.
I know this is a bit late for Christmas, but I wanted to show him to you.
I can't bring myself to pack him away with the rest of Christmas. So he will just have to sit out all year long.
The Boy is enamored of him too. He loves to pick him up and just look at him. I do too, truth be told.
I've read Mari's blog for YEARS, OK, 2 or 3 years. She always shows her Husband's beautiful wood carvings and every year I fall in love with one of the Santas.
This year I finally got one. He's a beauty too.
My horrid picture taking pales compared to Mari's beautiful ones. You can click on the heading "A New Man" to see what gorgeous things her husband carves. And you'll find a wonderful blogger too.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

This CHILD !

Comes up with some of the craziest things he wants to BE. Not pretend to be. But insists he has to BE whatever it is that comes to his mind.
This week, he had to BE a robot. He even sat down at the table and drew all the "things" he would need to become a robot. Unfortunately for Daddy, he's the one that has to implement these ideas the boy comes up with.
At this VERY moment, he is insisting he NEEDS to be a Tank. A real TANK. I'll post more of these ideas the Boy comes up with as soon as I can find all the pictures of
things that ping around in his brain.

What good does it do?

If you make the kids go to therapy (at tax payers expense)and FP* time/expense, because we are not compensated in anyway for therapy trips.
And only use their recommendations when it suits you?
That's exactly what happened in baby #1 case today.
I'm not even going to go into the hell that happened here on Friday. We'll call
it a total disrespectful breakdown of communications and leave it at that.
But today was a FTM^ where (in theory) they heard the therapist* recommendation on
transition*, then after she hung up from the conference call,told all parties that it was a load of BS, and they would proceed with what they intended to do. REALLY, THEY DID.
IF, big IF, we keep doing this, it will have to be with no emotion as to when, how or if it's in their best interest to be *transitioned. If they will not listen to the therapist's recommendations on *transition. My opinion has got less than a snowball's chance.
I keep asking myself how much worse can it get? Bad question...it always gets worse.

Too Much Thinking can drive you nuts

Cindy's last half of a sentence on her blog here made me stop for 30 minutes contemplating more things than I care to think about.
"What made me think I could make a difference?"
Boy #1 will be leaving tomorrow at 6:00pm. 48 Hours notice after 19 months of a long, hard road, just isn't enough time to process anything. We told him he would be leaving to live with so & so. He looked at me for a minute and said "OK" It's a bad time to be moving a *RAD child. First you'll have the all too wonderful honeymoon & then the all consuming idyllic Christmas. I can see a huge crash coming, ohhhhh mid January? When real life kinda kicks in. For both child & adoptive parent.
I have sat here and thought of Cindy's words for some time. Realistically, what difference have I made in his life or any of the lives of the children I take in and care for? This is not a oh poor me, nobody appreciates what I do moment. The question is real, to the gut, real. I offer a roof,bed, food & a hug and things to play with. Period.
To answer Cindy's question. I honest to God can not think of any difference I have made in their lives. Why do I advocate for these children & not even the policy makers follow their own rules. That my friends is the definition of beating your head against a wall.
So, do I settle for not making a difference in their lives. Parking a kid in my house, no emotions shown (because that is what they want) Or do I continue to beat myself up because I feel I have failed yet another child. I don't know if I can do either. But I also don't know if I can NOT open my house up to a child who needs a roof.
Too many things going through my head tonight. And I still have another one of these transitions to make soon enough...

Why am I surprised?

I was given 48 hours notice that baby #1 would be moved permanently to his new home.
With no regard to what the therapist says, or anything else.
Why this continues to surprise me, baffles me. I guess I always think, this time they'll do it right. And every single time they prove me wrong.
I have yelled the wrong doing from the roof top, so to speak, to no avail. I am now hoarse, no voice left with which to yell. If the ones making the rules, will not follow them...my hands are literally tied.
At the very least I know he's going to a good home.

How do you know...

That you go to McDonalds* too much?
When you pull up to Wal*greens prescription window and the 2 yr old yells, " Wanna Chee-burger!"
I have no idea where these kids get this stuff.

Answers, kinda (Updated)

JWG had some good questions, I thought I'd answer. Since frankly, around here, these things could go a million different ways.
The asked:
How long do you think they will be with you? Are they likely to find adoptive homes soon? How good is the agency involved at the transition process? Are they old enough to understand what is happening? So many questions.

Because the kids have been with me anywhere from their entire lives (25 months) to 18 months and their ages will be taken into consideration. I will make sure that the transition is slow with the one that has been with us his whole life. He will have a very a hard time with all this. We are all he has ever known and will not understand.They will start looking for a placement for this child within our county in the next few days is my guess.
The second child already has a placement in place and has been visiting them on a limited based for a couple months. That will be stepped up in the weeks to come. He will be with his new family in 3-6 six weeks is my guess.
The almost 3 year old "kinda" knows he will be going to live with the people he is visiting with. And it is not a problem for him. He loves them to death. They are wonderful people who love him alot. And it will help that we will still be apart of his life.
The child we've had all his life, well that's another story. He does not nor will not understand what will be happening to him. That is why I will fight for an extended transition for him. He is very attached and will not understand why he is leaving mommy & daddy. And because a family has not been identified as a placement, I can't say if we will be able to continue to be apart of his life.
All complicated & a delicate dance of who's the mommy now, where authority lies.
But I will make sure it works out well in the end. A smooth transition is 80% of my job.

Susan asked: Just wondering why you are not going to adopt the little guy you've had since birth?
Well, the simple answer is "I'm done". As far as we are concerned our family is finished. I don't feel either of these kids were meant to be ours. More practically, we can't afford any more children. My husband is nearing retirement we look foreward to some time when it is just us.(not gonna happen anytime soon since the Boy is only 5) I have been a mama since I was 17. I need a rest. sometimes I must admit I grow weary from all the demands put on me as a mother, a MeMe, wife, employee & foster mother. But God has been known to have a sense of humor. I never thought God would give me a son at age 40. So who knows what He has up his sleeve.

Wow

Mama #2 will voluntarily sign her rights over.
Nothing in this crazy world ever makes sence.
But now I know my boys will have good homes.

one down

One *TPR down...one more to go. Hopefully the judge will be in the same mood on friday.
These babies deserve the very best homes. Mom #1 just walked away, didn't show for court. Friday will be interesting.

Go Figure

Both of the Bmothers for my 2 little ones have dropped off the face of the earth.
One has been "working" her case*plan for 2 yrs and the other 20 months.
*poof* Gone. They could have saved us all alot of grief and done it along time ago. Not to mention they could have been in great adopt!ve homes long ago.
I'll never understand.