Saturday, December 11, 2010

Answers, kinda (Updated)

JWG had some good questions, I thought I'd answer. Since frankly, around here, these things could go a million different ways.
The asked:
How long do you think they will be with you? Are they likely to find adoptive homes soon? How good is the agency involved at the transition process? Are they old enough to understand what is happening? So many questions.

Because the kids have been with me anywhere from their entire lives (25 months) to 18 months and their ages will be taken into consideration. I will make sure that the transition is slow with the one that has been with us his whole life. He will have a very a hard time with all this. We are all he has ever known and will not understand.They will start looking for a placement for this child within our county in the next few days is my guess.
The second child already has a placement in place and has been visiting them on a limited based for a couple months. That will be stepped up in the weeks to come. He will be with his new family in 3-6 six weeks is my guess.
The almost 3 year old "kinda" knows he will be going to live with the people he is visiting with. And it is not a problem for him. He loves them to death. They are wonderful people who love him alot. And it will help that we will still be apart of his life.
The child we've had all his life, well that's another story. He does not nor will not understand what will be happening to him. That is why I will fight for an extended transition for him. He is very attached and will not understand why he is leaving mommy & daddy. And because a family has not been identified as a placement, I can't say if we will be able to continue to be apart of his life.
All complicated & a delicate dance of who's the mommy now, where authority lies.
But I will make sure it works out well in the end. A smooth transition is 80% of my job.

Susan asked: Just wondering why you are not going to adopt the little guy you've had since birth?
Well, the simple answer is "I'm done". As far as we are concerned our family is finished. I don't feel either of these kids were meant to be ours. More practically, we can't afford any more children. My husband is nearing retirement we look foreward to some time when it is just us.(not gonna happen anytime soon since the Boy is only 5) I have been a mama since I was 17. I need a rest. sometimes I must admit I grow weary from all the demands put on me as a mother, a MeMe, wife, employee & foster mother. But God has been known to have a sense of humor. I never thought God would give me a son at age 40. So who knows what He has up his sleeve.


Anonymous said...

Just wondering why you are not going to adopt the little guy you've had since birth? Sorry if you've explained and I missed it.

Anonymous said...

God certainly does have a sense of humor! I never thought I would adopt a sibling group of 7. And then have an 8th sibling placed with us at birth.


Tell me about it. I'm 58 and the mother of a three yer old!