Why do I expect something different from the same people?

Define stupid.
Doing the same things over & over the very exact same WAY,with the exact same People and expecting Different Results. Now who is stupid? Me or Them? Me, that's who.
Because, each and every time I expect they will do things differently THIS TIME. This time they will do it right. This time they'll do what's best for the child. This time they'll do it like the "book" says it should be done. THIS TIME. In five years This Time has not come. Nor does it look like it will happen This Time.
Remember I told you about the Boy's "Siser"? We knew the time would be soon that she would be transitioning to her new permanent placement with relatives. WE knew this was coming. But common sense & the state says there should be a transition time for the child, into the new home. Granted she has visited once a week for 1 1/2 hours for 3 months. But she does not know them. It's like we leave her once a week for an hour to run to the store or something. No overnights or weekends. We know this is the best placement for her, we don't argue that point. We WANT her to go to this relative. We think they are wonderful. But give a kid a break. We've had her since since she was 6 months old & she is now 21 months old. To her, we are her parents.
Soooooooo, I get a call from the sw saying no visit would be needed this month, because they were just going to go ahead and move her to this placement on Friday! Yes, this Friday. 2 days notice. She called at 6:00 last night.
I just told her I thought that was pretty crappy. The poor kid wouldn't know what hit her.
I asked why no transition time and she actually said,"oh, well, I just don't see kids doing transitions anymore, it's just boom, there you are." YOU have got to be kidding me. I told her of the 6 yr old we had & the transition time he was allowed. and reinerated the fact that I thought the Girl would get the short end of the stick if they did it this way & in general told her of my concerns about attachments later on, if this placement did not work, because she is still a legal risk.(since dad has decided to work a case plan after 2 yrs) Finally she said,"you may be right, I'll have to ask my supervisor tomorrow though".
All that we do to keep these kids safe, protected & loved. ALL OF IT! The appointments, the people in and out of your house all the time. Ask permission to do this, go there. And for What?
So they can yank them up at moments notice to do what ever THEY feel is right and good. Don't bother asking or informing the person who cares for them 24/7 their opinion.
I don't want a medal or praise, not even a thank you is needed. Reimburse me for diapers and let me know what is going on in the CASE and treat the kids like they have some kind of rights.
Why do I get so upset every time they do this? It's not like they don't always do it this way. They are pretty consistent in screwing things up.
I honestly wonder if they ever think of the child as being an actual child with feelings and emotions. Or if they just think of them as a case load to be presented before a judge to see if all their paper work was done correctly.
I really am the stupid one.

The physics of 8 ounces

Does anyone know why an 8 oz sippy cup full of milk looks to be a relatively small amount. Until you spill it all over the counter.? Why, when the milk hits the counter it turns into a gallon of milk that flows like the sea? I am such a klutz. They Boy was standing right at my heels (as always) and says,"oops, mama make a mess". Gee, thanks Boy, I hadn't noticed. Then he patted my leg and said, "it's OK, it's OK". Wow, when I spill Dove chocolate squares it never turns into more. Why is that?

SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED TO RELAX

Planning our Disney Cruise has got so bad...

I see the Olympic Rings on TV, and automatically think,"Hey, that looks like a double Mickey Head!"
If you've seen my kinda new ticker. It is 14 months & 4 weeks (not 15 months) til our 7 day Disney Magic cruise to celebrate our 20th anniversary.
I am a planner. Our first trip to Disney World a few years back was planned down to the minute almost. Dinner reservations made, parks mapped out.
This cruise will be no different. Having never been on one, I must find out everything about them, especially a Disney Cruise. I must know all about the restaurants, what is on the menu's. What the itinerary will be for the kid's clubs for The Boy. How the room is laid out, what the entertainment is. How my bags will make it on the ship. How long will it take for our passports to come. I need an extra birth certificate for The Boy, in case they loose it at the passport office. ( for some reason I don't trust government agencies. I wonder why?) And good grief, WHAT kind of clothes do you wear on a cruise and good grief I need to loose 20 pounds.
So it's no wonder I see Mickey's head in the Olympic Rings! RIGHT?

THIS BOY

Is driving me crazy!
I could swear he's turning 2 instead of 3! All he has done for the past 3 days is whine and cry. I can't even walk out of the room without him having a fit. He wants me to be right with him all the time. He was just at the doctor's 2 weeks ago, so I don't think he's got an ear infection.
He has started to cry to go home if we go somewhere, like the grocery store. Makes eating hard, with no food. But of course he doesn't eat anyway, so that doesn't bother him. He's a little young to be a recluse.
How can anything this cute, drive me so crazy?

WHOA.....

Have you seen or heard about this:

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/2008/08/02/surrogate-baby-factory-opens-in-poland-offering-kids-for-couples-at-11k-a-time-86908-20680604/

Go-- take a look & come back and tell me what you think. Good Idea? WHY? Bad Idea? WHY?

Don't be afraid to say what you really think. Keep it on anonymous if you want to.
I just want some honest feedback.

My FAVORITE FLOWER

Do you know what this is?

It took me two years to find this beauty. I first saw it in Southern Living.

It is a Bat Faced plant. The photo does not do the colors justice. When you look

directly at the flowers, it looks just like a red/purple bat. The "ears" are bright red, the face is bright purple and two white stamens stick straight out and look like vampire teeth. It usually is in full bloom by Halloween and the mommies who bring their little ones up the walk are always

dumbfounded, they can't believe it's real. Someone always has to touch it. It is usually a prolific re seeder, but with our drought, it was all I could do to get this tiny sprig to come up. It is usually a big bushy type flower. I am going to have to get as many seeds as possible from this measly stalk this year. They are soooo hard to find and when you do, it's not cheap. Is it not the coolest plant? I love it!

By the way this thing can be flipped up side down later on, to make a loft bed. Rungs can be added to the 2 side by side bars you see. and the mattress will fit inside the blue "box" that is now the bottom of the bed & the canopy put back on. Pretty cool, huh?

I LOVE IKEA, BUT........

PUTTING it together will kick your behind! REALLY! When you see these pictures, look carefully. EVERY single piece is put together with nut & bolt. The drawers in the dresser thingie, the drawers themselves had to be put together. Each drawer 5 pieces each put together. the runners that they slide on, ...put together inside the 'box'. The box itself, put together with nut& bolt. The bed....Lord help me, the bed. Each stick hand screwed into place. There are slates on the bed that hold the mattress up. All 20 put in just so and screwed in, on top and bottom of the slate.

Don't get me wrong, I love the uniqueness of their furniture, It is so very functional. there are pre-drilled holes, so you can add different units and so they can be re-configured if you have the energy later on. The colors are beautiful. What I love is you have more choice than the usual suspects for children. Not your standard Spider*man or Pooh* or Cars*. Very European, if you will. Well Sweden, anyway.

Have you ever been to an Ikea store? LOVE the restaurant. Yes, the place is so big it has a restaurant.

But before you get your 97 boxes of flat wood & nuts and bolts. You have to first GET them. At Ikea you walk around a beautiful and large (many floors) showroom. You have pencil and paper at the ready...to write down the ben# & isle # so YOU can get a huge cart to drag around and YOU must pull all these boxes that you hope lead to what you want and put them on the cart. Then you get to go thru the checkout hoping they can scan everything on the cart, because you do not have the energy to take one of those huge boxes off for them to scan. But the fun is not over. You then must get your vehicle to the loading dock, where YOU will unload the million pound loot into you vehicle. and you better hope you measure just right. We saw people in Geo Metros trying to put entire bedrooms in and on the car. You see alot of U-Hauls there, for good reason.

Was it worth it? Whew, good thing you didn't ask 3 days into trying to put it together. It is alot of work. A LOT OF WORK. Just getting it was alot of work. But the quality of the wood , hardware & accessories can't be found in other stores. IMO. Without paying alot more money.

See what you think.

HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN?

We are coming up on a difficult explanation or time, I'm not sure what to call it.
The Boy thinks of TheBabyGirl as his sister. When he was in daycare, they called her, his sister, when talking to him. So he will sometimes refer to her as his "sister". This weekend he come to tell me, his sister was awake and wanted out of the crib.(just not in that many words) more like,"siser, out crib". I know he doesn't understand "relationship" at his age. But what he does know is she has been living in the same house as long as he can remember. She has been with us over a year. So that would have made him 18 months old when she came to live with us. She was 6 months old. She has been visiting with relatives who are interested in adopting her for a few months. The have all their relative foster care "stuff" out of the way, home study, back ground check, ect. So the time is coming in the near future that his "sister" will be leaving us. I am not sad because these people will be a great family for her and they love her. But how am I going to explain that to a nearly 3 yr old? One day she just isn't going to come home from one of her 3 hour visits. How is it going to effect him? Will he miss her? Will he think one day he will go somewhere, not to come back too? (that thought breaks my very heart)
When the 6 yr old boy left 4 months ago, he asked about him once or twice and then all was forgotten. But cognitively, he will mature and realize children are coming and going in our home. But he will still be too young to understand the concept of Foster*Care.
I think he is going to miss TheGirl more than the 6 yr old. He's older now & I think he will know she is "gone".
I think this will hurt him when she leaves and I will have no way to explain to him why his "siser" left.
I'm not sure I know how to handle this.

DO YOU SEE THIS??

This Boy fell asleep on my couch.
This Boy peed on my couch. Well, technically his diaper wasn't changed before he fell asleep & it leaked....on my couch. Dang it. Now I need a new couch! And I should probably change diaper brands.
Is it just me or does it hurt your neck just looking at the way The Boy is laying there?

NIGHT TERRORS

I've known for some time The Boy probably had night terrors. But today at the Dr's office we got the diagnosis. It somehow makes it more real when what you think is said out loud by someone else.
Night Terrors are awful. If you've ever seen one, I don't have to tell you anything. You know.
I kinda always thought it was when a child woke in the middle of the night after a bad dream or was scared. NO! That is not a night terror at all. That is "waking" in the middle of the night after a bad dream.
In a night terror, the child first, has no idea they are doing it. They have no memory of it after it's over. They scream, cry, wail & thrash around. All without waking or knowing what they are doing. You CAN NOT WAKE them. The Boy screams & screams for me, and I am right there, telling him I am here, I am here. He does not know I am there. You can not comfort them or help them. You have no control. You are helpless. It has to play itself out.
When it first started happening he was about 2 yrs old and it would last 5 or 10 minutes and only happen about once a month. This week we've had 2 episodes. One lasted 45 minutes and the other 1 hour. As you can imagine you are mentally & physically exhausted after one of these.
I was very lucky that I didn't have to explain what goes on to the Dr, because her son had them from age 9 months to 2 yrs old. So she understood. Thank God.
From everything I've heard or read he should out grow them by puberty. I'm not sure I can do this for 10 more years.
She said look for triggers, like being overtired, going without a nap. She said traveling with her son was a huge trigger. She said,"try explaining to a hotel clerk why your kid is screaming bloody murder and it appears your not doing anything to stop him."and also, "don't take him on the balcony thinking that will help the people next to you from wanting to kill you. Then everybody in the hotel will want to kill you."
Good words of advice.
She said the neuro. dr they took their son to, recommended waking him 90 minutes into his sleep every night. supposedly they have night terrors when entering that sleep r.e.m. Sure, right, I wake that boy up 90 minutes after he goes to sleep & he's going to think it's "wake up time".
There is absolutely nothing to be done. Except wait this out. One of the most heart breaking things to do is hear your child scream for you & there is nothing you can do to help them.

You MUST go look at this

But I warn you now...get some kleenex first. You have been warned.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvDDc5RB6FQ

A very good investment

You just don't think so when it's 100 degrees outside!

The boy was so red in the face from "jumpin jumpin" for an hour. I thought he was going to pass out. We had to make him get out. (Daddy didn't mind getting out right away)

He was so tired, a nap was no problem, for The Boy & daddy. I think in the fall this will be a very good thing.

I HAVE GOT TO TELL SOMEBODY

Before I forget it.
Judge me later...I've got to tell you this now.
I'm watching the Big Brother 10 Live feed (I said, don't judge)
One of the girls was just chatting away about some family member, and all I caught of it was,
"She could of got away with pleading insanity, but she ran over him TWICE! She should have stopped at once." Very casually, like totally nothing wrong with doing it once.
My life is so boring.

HISTORY BUFF

I'm a history buff. I love the history of little known facts about our country.
My dream come true would be a 3 week private tour of the Smithsonian!
I know I'm a nerd.
If your a history buff or homeschool and would like the kids to learn some things not
put in most history books. This is the site for you. I'm pretty sure they change the topics ever so often too.
http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/index.html
Have fun looking around.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SLAPPED BY GOD?

I'm not sure how to start this.
I'm not proud of it. Maybe you will judge me to be a bad person, an ungrateful person. And you may be right.
Sometimes when I am tired, because a little boy didn't take a nap or he acts up in a restaurant or I have to clean up throw up, or the little boy refuses to be potty trained, or finds the pencil that I couldn't find for an hour, and writes on the wall...or any number of things, I feel resentment creep in. I should be able to do anything I want at this point in my life. Work, go away for the weekend, go to dinner in peace. NOT clean walls.
Now to go back in time a little.
I had my 2 oldest very early in life. A military dr. did not follow any medical protocol when I had my gallbladder out at age 22, and said hey, you want me to tie your tubes while I'm in there? (I had told him I was done having children) I was 22 with 2 kids, and not enough common sense to look more than 10 minutes into the future. He tied my tubes at age 22, I was divorced 3 months later.
A couple years later along comes the most amazing man in the world. He was 36, never married. He knew I could not have anymore children when we married, he was fine with that. I was not. In my mind he deserved a baby "of his own". We tried to have the surgery reversed, but there was too much damage. NO babies.
We had the opportunity to adopt a 5 month old a few months after we were married and done it.(she's 19 now!)
But in the back of my mind he deserved a son, a son I could not give him.
I prayed God would allow me to give him a son. Crazy I know. I saw the surgery report, no eggs were coming out of those tubes.EVER. I prayed that prayer til I was about 40. By then I knew it was too late and too crazy. And who says He didn't answer my prayers all those years ago with our daughter? Plus our 2 older daughters who love him as tho he was their father.
Back to the resentment.....
At times it has got the best of me. Don't get me wrong I love that boy with all my heart. But God had to show me something and He had to make sure I saw it.
Today while watching a UTube video, of all things. God smacked me.
He said I heard your prayers. YOU messed up my plans for your life, by having the surgery. I did give you a son. I answered your prayers, not on your terms, but Mine. I gave you the son you prayed for.
The boy was born right before my 40th birthday. It was a miracle he came to us. Healthy, infant males are nearly impossible to get from foster care. Especially when your not looking for them.
If I would have become pregnant at 40 would I have resented it? I did pray for it after all. So why do I resent not being able to do the things I could do without a 2 yr old?
God gave me the desires of my heart, I will resent it no more. Sometimes I am a blind fool.

You know you read too much WHEN...

You read a 365 page book and remember when your on the last 2 pages, you've already read the book!
Either you read too much or your getting too old. I don't know which.

UNCLE & NEPHEW

Here's hoping they will always be friends. It's not every day your nephew is 6 months older than you . Or that your oldest sister is 24 years older than you.
In looks they are as different as night and day. The boy is brown haired and brown eyed & his nephew (my grandson) is White headed and sparkly blue eyes. Two of the most handsome boys I've ever seen.
(Yes, someday I will get rid of that pacifier)

CALL ME A PUSHOVER, A WHIMP, WHATEVER..

YOU would be too!
The boy is sick. For a few days he has had a runny nose & slight fever. No big deal. Until this morning he came in and told me his beddy hurt and started scratching. I pulled up his shirt to see a beautiful Lacey red rash, front torso only. I pat myself on the back and know nursing school and the ensuing 20 years had not been wasted, by diagnosing the boy with scarlatina or strep, both can be caused by the same type strain, giving you the lovely lacey red rash.
I digress..
So anyway, I know either way we need to go to the dr and some meddy. (we use technical terms around here.) So we go in, I give the dr the run down on his symptoms, he agrees with my diagnosis. :) But wants to do a strep test anyway, since his throat is so red. So he swabs his throat and goes out to run the test. The boy says, 'You hurt me!' He comes back with an ice pop and tells the boy it will make his throat better. The boys says thank you and gobbles it all up.
Just as the dr comes back in THAT boy looks at me, folds his hands under his chin and says,"Pweese mama, Pweeese I have some more?"
OH, MY Goodness! Where did he learn that? WHERE? I want to know? I have not seen it on any of the cartoons he watches and we sure didn't teach him.
Was that boy born knowing how to break my heart?
The dr just smiled, gave us our script and walked out.
I am left to deal with the "pweese mama pweese" hands folded under the chin!
I did what any sane mama does, I said, I'll give you an ice cream when we get home. (we don't have ice pops) He says NO, pweeeeese mama, ice, pweese. The boy was killing me.
I wanted to squeeze him to death (big hug, not kill) and cry. So I did what any sane mama does, I stopped on my way home and got ice pops for the boy.
I can see now (and so does he) that when he folds his hands under his chin and says. Pweeese, mama, Pweeeeese, it'll probably work for anything. From ice pops to a pony.
I need to learn where he learned this from, it's killing me!