I love this woman

I always know when I can't put it into words that Cindy can & does.
I don't talk about my youngest daughter who is adopted and the issues she still has. Mostly because she reads my blog and second I am not one that really likes to rehash the crappy stuff. REALLY crappy stuff.
But Cindy lives it day in and day out with what I think is 39 adopted children. Go Cindy. I am not woman or human enough to do that. My one has been enough to do me in. (not the Boy)
Anyway my point was, Cindy hit the nail on the head today with post adoption issues of older children and the state of things to come with all the hard core drug addicted babies coming into foster*care.
She says it all in her post today.
If you are thinking about adoption or older children adoption, Cindy's blog is a must read, must read. She indeed tells it exactly like it is. Not the Hallmark version. But the really,real life stuff.
If you're not familiar with Cindy, go, go read her blog and be blown away.

    http://thebodiebunch.blogspot.com/

Soccer

My Boy did love playing soccer for the first time this year.
He did not understand why some kids did not follow the rules. It frustrated him to no end when a kid didn't listen or follow the rules. Do not use your hand and do not push the other players was a biggy to him. He would just walk off the field if someone broke a "rule" and the umpire did not call them on it.
He is a stickler for doing things EXACTLY the way he is told. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
In FP news, I was told the behemoth will be moved no later than the last day of this month. Honestly, it can't come fast enough.
On the house front, we have another bid in on a house. I surely do hope this one goes through. 20 years of not being together in the Marine Corps, I was used to & knew what I was getting. But this time of our lives was to be catch up time. Home every night kind of thing. 
Hopefully we'll know tomorrow if they take the offer on the house. Fingers Crossed!

BLAST FROM THE PAST

THAT I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZED I HAD!

Here we have a certain Boy having his very first hair cut! I thought we had lost this in the many computer crashed over the years.
I mean LOOK at that hair. Who has hair like that at the age of 8 months?
At the time "my wall" was so high and thick, I called him a ugly boy. I had to do something to guard my heart. Who could stand the thought that this Boy would go back or to a relative?? Today I would just as soon kick you as look at you if you said one cross word to MY Boy.
This exact same girl still cuts his hair to this day. Nobody, but nobody touches that hair but Ms. Wendy.
He still has those same fat cheeks, and head full of to die for hair. He's only gotten taller, and not much at that. I don't know what we will do when we move. 9 hours is a long time to drive for a haircut. Even a really good one.
Don't you just want to reach through the screen and pinch those chubby cheeks?

My Boy is Hilarious

You may have to be a cartoon aficionado to understand this.
But The Boy said, "Mommy, you have to come look what I made. I decided the make one of the bananas
on the commercial." The  little snippet of cartoon commercial comes on one of the millions of cartoon networks out there. A bunch (no pun intended) of bananas come out dancing and singing, ba na na na na, ban nan a nan, ect and so on, until it goes through your brain a thousand or so times throughout the course of the day.
And I must say this guy looks ALOT like the ones on TV.
He glued googly eyes and drew a smile on a piece of paper and taped it to the banana.
Either he's genius or I'm easily entertained. I'm not sure which it is.

Great Expectations

Today they called.
They wanted to know if I'd gotten the *recertification*packet to fill out for the following year.
I had not. But told her we would no longer be an asset to their organization under current expectations.
She did not seem to flinch. She said she had expected as much. There were No, "please is there anything we can do to keep you/change your mind/help you with." Just a, "well, I can't blame you.and I'll consider this your two weeks notice" Like I worked for them. Maybe they really don't expect FP to put up with all that's going on. I don't have a clue. You would think they had hundreds of FP to chose from instead of a handful barely hanging on.
So now we count down to see how long it takes them to find a placement for the behemoth. Did I mention I pulled a muscle and pinched a nerve in my neck trying to carry him? But I'm not one to complain. :)

I shall sit and type and spill my guts

If this thing doesn't shut down/drop the stupid post.(yes, I know stupid is a bad word, but The Boy can't read this yet)
I do not like this new whatever that is going on with blogger. I do not like posting on the lap top. It stinks.
I have officially hit my rock bottom with the fost3r*c@re system. I now have a bad attitude and quite frankly don't care. Not that I don't care about the kids or what happens to them. But I don't care to be apart of it anymore. My county in particular does not care about the FP.
(Ok, it just ate 2 paragraphs)
I know that our foster*careSystem is flat broke. I get that, I know that. But I am not your cab driver, nor your nanny. I can't and won't ferry one child to four visits per week with 3 different relatives. That is 4 visits with each relative. There is not enough time in a day. Neither do they care that if I did care to delve into that kind of insanity, MY family, job, so-called life would cease to be.
Do I understand that it is best for a child to see & maintain a relationship with their families? Absolutely! But I am one person. I can not do this. If by chance you have more than one child in your home that are not siblings, if it is so decreed, you would have to do that for each child. And this is just a tiny fraction of what they are asking us to do. I would have to work 2 jobs just to put enough 4.00 a gal. gas in my car to do all those visits. (no, we are not given a gas/mileage allowance)  And the therapy appts & dr appts, ect.
I don't see how this is going to end well (in our county). I see it collapsing like a house of cards. The frustrating part is that I have tried to make a difference and it is impossible. Maybe I can say I made a difference in the life of one or two children and that will be difference enough. I'm afraid it will have to be.
They have won. I do not care to live my life this way anymore.
As I type this, it sounds horribly selfish. I know there are more FP in the trenches and if everyone just stops when it gets impossible WHO will be there for the kids?
But I have a family too. One who at the end of the day I am too emotionally &  physically drained to do anything with or for. What good is that?
So I am done, finished, gave all I had. They will want to come this month for our yearly recert of our home. I will say no, then within days move the Behemoth to another home.
~sigh~
   

Long Time No See

I just had a HUGE thing typed up.
Blogger ate it! I know it was because I was complaining about it.
Maybe I'll try this again tomorrow!