Just out of curiosity..........

Raise your hand if you have an honest to goodness I'm a Foster Parent in the state of...certificate???

I've read on several blogs about people receiving "certificates" stating you are now a foster parent. We've been at this 5 years and I've never seen a certificate. Matter of fact, we have no idea when we were official foster parents. We were sitting & waiting for someone to call (hahahaha) to tell us we had been approved when the phone rang for a placement.

Along about May every year they come and do our yearly renewal, but we've never had anything in writing saying we are foster parents. Is that odd?

UNLESS you count the little laminated card I got this year when I complained that a bmom saw me at wallymart and demanded I have a little impromptu visit with her and the extended family right then and there. She threatened to call the police & say I had her child without her consent. I called her bluff, and said,"go for it, we'll see which one of us goes to jail". Three months later I got a little card that said and I quote:

D is performing foster care services for *&^(&*^ county dfacs. Your cooperation is appreciated.

It's fill in the blank. And has an expiration date for this month! I had to beg for that. Something to identify myself with, in case CRAZY ever happens again.

How could they let this happen??

Jaime Foxx???? REALLY?
They let him slaughter my beloved George Strait's song...in front of him?
He must have bought his way on there. He Butchered it, I tell you, Butchered!
A tribute to the best of the best and they let him do this.
I'll never be the same. And please don't tell me Jaime Foxx fancies himself a country singer now.
ohhhhhh, please.

Peace & Quiet

My WONDERFUL HUSBAND surprised me with a weekend in my beloved mountains!
Sorry no pictures. Too lazy to raise the camera. I do have one of the flowers I put on my great grandparents grave, but I didn't think you'd be interested.
I don't think there is anything more relaxing than a nice, peaceful cabin in the woods. We did nothing, just nothing. I wish I could have read a book. But the Boy being 3 yrs old, needed to be watched at all times. Not conducive to reading a good book. But, sitting on the front porch, rocking & doing nothing for a few days is bliss. Shear bliss.
And I surprised dfacs* with arranging my own respite care for baby K. I'm sure I'll hear about it later.
"They" called Friday morning wanting me to take a 2 yr old. Then got upset when I said we were going away for the weekend. She said"Well, it seems everyone is leaving for the weekend".
Sorry Lady. We get to have a life too. I told her if she could get respite care til Monday I could take her, or permission to take her with us. Not good enough for her. She found a place for her, which is the important thing.
Hope everyone had a nice long weekend.

All Is Quiet on the home front

for now.
It's just Baby K & us.
The boy sure is a big guy. At his 6 month ck up he weighed 20 lbs 9 oz & 27 inches long! It's all I can do to carry him. His brother we had a few years back was a tall boy, just not as chunky!
It looks like he will have a baby brother some time in September. Since mom has already lost one to the system, they will only run a 6 month concurrent plan.He's been in care for over 2 months now and she's not working her case plan. With another on the way in 4 months. Looks like TPR for this soon to be duo. I'm not sure there will be too many people jumping at the chance to have 2 babies under 1 yr old though. That's alot of work! But he is such a good baby. It's almost like he's not even here. He wants to be fed and changed & put in the floor to play.
The Boy misses Baby Weepy more than I thought he would. He asked me why Baby K couldn't chase him around the house like Baby Weepy did. I've been told they are doing well in their new placement. Baby Weepy is sick again with yet another ear infection after his teeth surgery. It seems some of the infection from the teeth got washed back up into the ear canals. I'm afraid he will be a sickly little boy for awhile. I pray for a wonderful family for those two. God knows they deserve it. I don't feel they should go back to the family member who wants them, because that track record is almost as bad as bmom's.
Here's hoping for a nice quiet summer around here. I can sure use it.
I'm still thinking seriously about a private agency, as the county is getting worse by the second. Our foster parents are dropping out like flys.

Random thought...kinda

I think I'm going to check into going with a private fostering agency. It would appear from talking to others, the foster parents actually get treated like people. Who KNEW?
Can anybody share how it is with private vs. state agencies?

Is It Really That Bad

When you go to the pharmacy for the 114th time in a month to pick up "some one's" prescription and for the life of you, you can't remember their birth date? (and sometimes last names)
The little pharmacy girl looks at me like I belong on the world's worst mama list. (she may be right) But if she only knew how many birthday's, day's they came to live with us, court dates, check up dates, SW worker visit dates, that float around in my brain at any given time...she just might be impressed that I know my own name.

4 diaper boxes

It all came down to 4 boxes of stuff. They left with more than they came with, including a little piece of our hearts.
I cried more today than I have in years.
I feel worse today than I have in a very long time.
Today, I don't think I'm a very good person.

It only works in theory...

Anonymous said...
You do what you need to do. But make sure as many people as high up as possible know why.

Anonymous, I swear if I thought it would do a shred of good. I would tell any & everybody. But I know it will not. I will again be the bad guy, because I have pointed out someones short comings. It would be all, "you should have told us. We would never have let it get to this point". And I would have pretend to believe that. And they would have pretended they would have done something. I've been there, done that and all it does is create bad feelings all around. It would peg me as a trouble maker.
The sW already told me, "Oh, I didn't know he was THAT sick and needed THAT much attention". REALLY? Because I told her everything, every detail, every time.
Around here respite is a joke. You don't get respite when every home is full, no one wants to think about watching someone else's kids, when you're house is full too. You literally have to take the kids up to the office and say here you go, I told you I needed respite and no one called me back on it and it's time for us to leave. Sad, sad, but true.

Where To Start?

If this goes all over the place, blame it on DFACS*, they made it that way.
Let's go back about 2 months ago when I only had 1 (one) foster child, Baby Weepy.We planned on taking The Boy & The Grandson to ride Thomas the Tank Engine about 2 hours away. I asked for respite care for baby weepy, just 8 or 10 hours. Not over night, not for the weekend, just for the day. I gave them 2 MONTHS notice, so I wouldn't have to worry about not getting anybody to do it, or them saying I hadn't given enough time. I bought the tickets 2 months ago at 22.00 a pop. Not cheap for a 25 minute train ride, 2 hours away. Then came Baby K, I told his SW at placement I would need respite for that time. No problem, she says. Then came Baby Weepy's baby sister. I let the SW know again via Email to please not forget I needed respite for the day. No reply. The day gets closer. All the SW's in our area are off on Friday's because of the budget cuts. Thursday night they called and said, "we can't find anybody, can't you take them with you?" Need I tell you I was upset? On Friday morning Baby K's SW calls to say she found someone to watch him. Ok, one down, 2 to go. Baby Weepy & company's SW never called back. When I called the person about Baby K, I told her my story and she so graciously offered to do the newborn too. But did not have the space for another car seat, which is understandable. So I was left to deal with what to do with Baby Weepy. The knowledge that 2- 3 year olds and 1- 2 year old WILL MELT DOWN on a long trip made me just want to forget the whole thing. Then I was angry. Realizing that they could not care less about me or my family and what we do for these kids. All I was asking for was an 8 hour break. They wouldn't even see to it that we got that. (What do you think they will do/say in November when I WILL be going on a 10 day vacation?) So we were stuck taking him with us.
After I had delt with this all day on Friday:
THEN Friday night we were called by a complete stranger from some shelter where Baby Weepy's Bmom is, wanting us to bring them down for a VISIT. HELLO, she popped positive when she came back from the state she ran to after she had the baby. If she's in a non-lock down shelter waiting to go into state paid for rehab AGAIN, chances are she's used after she came back here. I told the nice person that I didn't think so. What ever visitation that went on would be supervised by dfacs* and transported by same.
OH, to add to all that I was put on 90 days probation at work (something I've never been thrugh) Because I have used all my vacation & sick days on Baby Weepy and all his medical problems. That was all gone by the end of Jan. Now every time they call me to come get him from daycare, which is 3 or 4 times a week, it's with no pay. Plus a very upset supervisor. I understand their position. They hired me to do a job and it's not being done. I relayed this to the SW who said, "let me call them, I can change their minds." ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I can't take another day off for 90 days. I have a kid too, that gets sick or needs to be taken here or there. This is just gotten way out of control. And they don't care. They do not care about me or my family, the stress it puts on us or anything else for that matter. I am nothing but a place to drop kids. The system does not care if it destroys your family, as long as the kids have a place to go. Now, they are upset with me that I want allow them to call my employer.
The fact is, I can't continue on with them not caring about the stress and strain they create by not helping me with respite or just return phone calls. They don't care my job is on the line. Or the fact I have 4 kids under the age of 3.
I'm afraid I had to ask that they move Baby Weepy & sister. I know that's bad. I feel bad about it. But at some point in all this I have to consider my family & my sanity. We have to have a life too. I can't continue this madness. Baby Weepy's health issues would be a huge load if he was the only kid I had. But with 3 more...they get sick too, need dr appts too.
I can't keep everybody happy. What I must do is remember not to neglect MY family, which is what has been happening for months.
They are not happy with me. I guess there goes foster parent of the month* for us. I was looking forward to the plastic trophy.

Changes

are about to come.
Things got ugly.
More later.