Saturday, July 21, 2007

I KNOW IT'S been a Long Time AGAIN!....

I have had quite the serious deliberation going over & over in my head for some weeks now.

Adoption the the average couple who are looking for that is quite the no brainer.

But as all of you who read my blog, now we foster ONLY!

Well, one of the little guys got under of skin (very OLD skin, I might add) I will only give you the ages for comparison & pity's sake, ME-42, hubby-53. 3 grown daughters 25/21/ & the baby is 18 and will be a Sr. in a private H.S this year.

It looks like we are going to do what I said would never happen.

We are going to adopt the 18 month old that we have had for 13 months. We love the little devil. But I fear being "an older parent". I was alway in the " you started how young catagory?"

Perri, how do I handle this "old mommy" thing? What is something happens to us.

There is so much to think/worry/whine about.

This is a huge step. Is it fair to our other kids?grandkids?

Daycare is soo expensive, I may have to stop working. I've never NOT worked, what do you do all day long?

I've got so much to think about, pray about and BEG OPINIONS FROM YOU GOOD PEOPLE. tHERE are no bad advise. Any advise or questions, ect is welcome at this point.

I think I may be deserate. *sigh* and I think I may need one of those wooden tree house/swing sets, to go where my garden is now.



Perri said...

The "Old Mommy Thing" as you want to call it is wonderful. You will never regret it!

What to do if something happens to you? Well, Andi (23) gets custody of all the younger kids. could one of your daughters step in? Statistically, there's not much chance of something happening to both of you at the same time, but Andi sometimes teases us about traveling seprately.

I was 36 when Jake was born, 38 when Carly and Wes were and 39 when Ryan was. So if I can have 4 little ones running around at the same age you are now, you can do 1.

What to do all day if you don't work? Sleep late if you want. Snuggle in bed. Play. Read to your son. Swing. Dig for worms. Walk in the puddles. Learn to fish. Feed the ducks. Skip rocks. Bake cookies. Play with play-dough. Laugh a lot. Tell stories of your childhood from "the old days." Face paint. Go to story time a the library. Make a lot of crafts. Visit a nursing home. Plant some flowers. Make some friends half your age that have kids his age. Lastly,
homeschool him because you enjoy him so much you don't want to let somebody else have all the fun.

Adopt some more kids so he won't be the "only" child. Highly recommend this one. Takes the pressure off on days you don't want to play playdough because you feel old :)

Is it fair? Does it matter? If yes, then I say 100%Absolutely. The joy he will bring to your family will outweigh any "unfair-ness" anyone feels.

Your kids are grown. I know you were probably thinking it was time to slow down and slow down you will. You will enjoy his childhood more than you ever imagined because you will be such a more relaxed mom this time around.

It is a wonderful adventure you are about to embark on and I truly don't think you will ever look back and wish you hadn't done it. Instead, you will always wonder "what if we had adopted him," if you don't.

I don't think you want to face that thought. So go for it! I'm looking forward to seeing pictures of your adoption day :)

Hope that helps.

Heidi Kellems said...

Hi D

I am a friend of Perri's and thought I would pop over and see what the fuss is all about. After reading your post and Perri's comment I thought I would leave it alone but then felt I needed to share with you about my MIL (56) and FIL (54). My MIL runs a daycare and has for years. One of the children's mother ended up pregnant again (her 5th none of which she has custody of). She asked my MIL (she was 50 at the time) if she would become this little guy's legal guardian because she had cancer or some other sickness. She was also using drugs really bad. Mom and Dad were feeling just as you are/were. Mom and Dad ended up adopting him a couple of years ago on my birthday. He just turned 6 this year and my husband (their oldest bio child) is 35 soon to be 36. They now have 10 children (4 adopted, 6 bio) and are presently foster parents. We all thought they were crazy when they agreed to adopt my little BIL but we love the little guy so much and that "Craziness" has wore off on to us now as we are being obedient to God and soon to be adopting 5 children of our own (we have 4 bio bringing the total to 9).

Whether you think it's crazy or not I believe the most important thing here is obedience to God. Let God worry about if He thinks you are too old because He already knows a person's life span. He will use what necessary means possible to spread the gospel and people don't retire in His Kingdom.

Looking forward to many more stories about your new son.