Sunday, September 05, 2010

Nothing like griping to make you feel better

(This one's mine by the way, not up for grabs. this was taken at a festival today)

I don't usually write in too much detail about the *foster children I have in my home. Oh, I know I do my fair share of griping. I just kind of generalize it.
But both of my boys will be leaving soon, I believe. It's not like it's not about time. I happen to believe a child should not be in *foster*care one minute longer than it takes the parents to get their crap together. I *foster the very young ones. Attachment issues are very real in this age group. One little one is the cutest thing you've ever seen. As a matter of fact one of the complete strangers who's lap he crawled up into said," Those eyes are so bright, you'd need to change the bulb in there every once in awhile." He knows no stranger. Which is terribly scary if you know anything about RAD%. He's been with us 18 mos. of his 30 mos. of life. I fear for his future and the perspective parents, who I doubt ever heard of RAD^, let alone know how to handle it or even know if this is something they can deal with. All they know is the superduper *SW says he is *healthy,white,male child. period. I will be sure to fill in all the very large gaps they fail/forget to tell them. Plus he's still a *legal risk. If I were them I would run and never look back. But I keep telling myself, who am I to judge. Maybe they can deal with it. But the first time they meet and he calls them mama & daddy, it will all be over, and they will hear nothing of my warning. People, love does not cure all things.
My other baby, has been with us 21 of his 24 months. His poor case has languished for far too long. One day he's going home & the next he's going to TPR*, staying in state or going out of state for *adoption. They don't have a clue. All the while this baby thinks this IS his home, the only home he's ever known. Why shouldn't he think that. It's the courts that should be ashamed of what they've done to this child's life. It doesn't take 2 years to figure out if mom's got what it takes to parent a child. Especially if you've had 2 more since the first came into care. Folks, this ain't rocket science. Foster*Care is a necessary evil, if you will. But it doesn't mean the state couldn't do a better job of taking into care the ones who need it and sending home the ones that need to go. Whether that be back to bparents or adoptive parents. Sitting in foster*care for years doesn't do anyone, on either side of the fight any good.
I've said my rambling piece for the night. I feel so much better.
I wonder why Juvenile court judges don't read foster blogs. Maybe they could learn the real truth.


jwg said...

Any chance you'd adopt the baby if he ends up being available for adoption?

D said...

My family is complete. I only provide a soft place to land til the crazy is over for them at this point.

Susan said...

Maybe it's a state thing, but TPR* must be filed if a child has been in care 15 of the last 18 months. Now of course there is the appeal, etc. but at least the step must be taken. A new thing they are doing is if a parent has had rights terminated previously, then a concurrent plan of TPR*/adoption in 6 months is also in the works. That's our current situation.