Friday, December 04, 2009

The Easy Road...Really?

I've been informed by commenters, well intending S.W's, friends who didn't know any better or my story(s) regarding our adoptions, in particular how "lucky" we've been to get 2 babies dropped in our laps to adopt. They said we had an "easy road". I've never seen that in adoption, so I wouldn't know. I've always struggled with what to say to these people. It's impossible to tell a life time of heartache, problems,trials, finances, hardships, ect, ect. So I choose not to go into detail on any of it 99.9% of the time. Even here, I don't think I've ever went into huge lengthy detail of all we have gone through in either of our adoptions. A friend sent me this today that kinda says it perfectly in regard to this particular area of our lives. One phrase in particular is this:
"The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they don't know my story....
If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too! "
(I don't care for the word "haters" in this instance, but it's part of the poem)

Would you like to see all the poem? Sure you would.
I found it very interesting. Maybe you will too.
*By the way, the two paragraphs above is all that spoke to me about our adoptions. I'm sure it speaks to different people at different places in their lives.

By Maya Angelou
A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.
They are very negative people to say the least. Nothing is ever good enough!
When you make your mark, you will always attract some haters...That's why you have to be careful with whom you share your blessings and your dreams, because some folk can't handle seeing you blessed...
It's dangerous to be like somebody else.... If God wanted you to be like somebody else, He would have given you what He gave them! Right?
*You never know what people have gone through to get what they have...
The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they don't know my story....
If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too!*
We've all got some haters among us!
Some people envy you because you can:
a) Have a relationship with God
b) Light up a room when you walk in
c) Start your own business
d) Tell a man/woman to hit the curb (if he/she isn't about the right thing)
e) you are a strong person and don't let people run you over
f) you have a strong and loving marriage and they can't get in-between spouses to spoil it
Haters can't stand to see you happy.
Haters will never want to see you succeed.
Most of our haters are people who are supposed to be on our side (like some family and friends).
How do you handle your undercover haters?
You can handle these haters by: 1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are *(VERY IMPORTANT!!)
2. Having a purpose to your life: Purpose does not mean having a job. You can have a job and still be unfulfilled.A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be.Your purpose is not defined by what others think about you.
3. By remembering that what you have is by divine prerogative and not human manipulation.Fulfill your dreams!
You only have one life to live...when its your time to leave this earth, you want to be able to say, 'I've lived my life and fulfilled my dreams, Now I'm ready to go HOME!
When God gives you favor, you can tell your haters, 'Don't look at me...Look at who is in charge of me...
BUT most of all don't become a HATER!'

A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

Maya Angelou

Have you heard this one before? What did you think?


The Brothers said...

I hear you. Folks just don't understand the road. For every 1 we've been blessed to adopt, there have been 3 we've been devastated to let go. It's not easy, but our sons are worth the valleys we had to trudge through. They are the light at the end of our tunnel!

Susan said...

I hadn't heard it, but I like it. People say things to us all the time about how lucky we are to have Ella (which we are) and even more often how lucky she is to have been adopted. I never know what to say. "Well yes she is lucky to have been taken form her birth family, she is lucky to have been born addicted to heroin, she is lucky to be predisposed to substance abuse, mental illness, food issues and a bunch of other nasty stuff" just doesn't seem to be the thing. The other thing that I struggle with (and usually say nothing about) is the fact that she has issues as a result of her prenatal experience. Issues that dramatically impact her life and people say things like "Oh she'll outgrow that." Or That's not really a problem, she's just a little sensitive." Reality is that she is not going to outgrow it. She may gain living skills to cope with it, but she will always struggle with some things.

Anonymous said...

I appreciate this writing about Haters.