Friday, September 26, 2008

Do you know Who YOUR mama is?...

I am not an in your face , oh look at me, I have adopted children. We are pretty low key people. We've known people for years who didn't know one of our daughters was adopted.
And I realize,like my friend Min it is obvious you have adopted children, it is a reality in your day to day life. I'm not talking about that.
I know people whose whole identity is wrapped up in. To me, my children are only adopted until the court date. Then you're all mine, baby. Birth Certificate says so. Then we just live our lives like any other family you might know. My kid, lock, stock and barrel. So we don't talk adoption day in and day out. It will and does have it's place and time. (This ain't my first go round)
So I say that to say my 2 1/2 yr. old does not know a thing about adoption. He only knows what any other 2 1/2 yr old knows....He knows who his mama & daddy is. PERIOD. Me-Mama, He-Daddy. Boy named David has a mama & daddy who loves him & spoils him stinking rotten.
I ran into a friend from work, who knows The Boy is adopted. We were talking foster care because she is interested in foster to adopt because of infertility issues, ect. She had a friend with her I did not know, but who picked up on the fact that The Boy was adopted. Now my son is small for his age, but he is very smart, (if I do say so myself) He understand what is being said around him. In a lull in the conversation, she said, "Poor thing, does he know who his mama is?".......chirp....chirp...chirp. The boy looked at her and said, "Her, my Mama!" Pointing to me.
Trust me people, what he had to say was a WHOLE LOT more Christ Like, than what crossed my mind for the next 2 hours. What I did say was, "Evidently, he knows his mama".
What I wanted so desperately to say was: "Listen lady, spitting out a kid you don't want or will not take care of, does not a mama make." It especially does not make you a mama if you abandon 2 babies in 2 years and never look back.
Who says that in front of a 2 1/2 yr old?
Sometimes I just shake my head at how many stupid people there are in the world. This person had a master's degree in Social Work....shake your head some more now.

7 comments:

Min said...

Wow...that's as bad as the "do you have kids of your own" thing that I've gotten so many times now. I seriously can't believe that an MSW would ask that in front of him. What a moron.

Well, David handled it the best way, I think. And GOOD for him for standing up for himself and for you!

Liz said...

i cant believe the stupidity of some people! sheesh

Pep said...

Some people just don't think before they speak. It's a shame, really.

:-) Pep

Susan said...

I've been asked if Ella is my real kid. I smiled and said, "No, she's a doll, we just turn her off at night." The gal said,"You know what I mean." and I told her I didn't would she like to explain? She did not.

Jill said...

Yes,when we had our 3 sibs we planned to adopt,we were always asked ,are you babysitting?Wheres their real mom?Are all these yours,where did they come from?Like Im going to go into all that with a stranger?It drove me nuts.About telling David about adoption,each situation is different,who is it for anyone to say whats right for your family,but you??

PeWee said...

David is awesome! His comment should have shut her right up!

These types of things are everywhere and will never end for any of us.

Granny Sue said...

Good on you for seeing that children are ours when we care for them. I have five sons; one's father is different from the dad of the other 4. but we don't do things by halves at our house. They are all sons, and they are all brothers. There are many kinds of families today. Family is sharing your life, love memories with someone; it's not about whose blood is in your veins.

Thanks for stopping by my blog, D. I'm glad I got a chance to visit yours too. You renew my faith in good people.