Friday, February 29, 2008

NOT FUN THINGS...

Coming home from vacation & getting a stomach virus in the same week! A NOT fun thing to do.
There was so much I wanted to blog about. I wanted to tell you about going to sign what I call the "first step" papers for David. Meaning in our state, the child no longer gets reimbursements, daycare or medical coverage. They are yours..BUT, they still come for visits, you still have to have court permission to take them out of the state, and they have the right to say"NOT yours" any time they say. During this signing the very nice adoption SW, was giving us his "life history" and having us sign papers saying we were going to adopt him, her supervisor had to be present I use "present" very loosely here. She had her chin in her hand, elbow propped up, looking blankly at the wall the whole time. About 20 minutes into the whole thing, I guess she got bored, got up, said congratulations and walked out. The girl who came in to notarize the papers showed more warmth than she did. Just weird.
Then that life history I told you about. It came from ME! They employ a service that calls foster parents to get an idea what the child is like, personality, likes, dislikes, problems ect, to give to prospective adoptive parents. It just so happens in this case the one giving to info, happens to be the one who turns out to adopt him. The reason I have to be concerned is.....hardly any of it is correct! They did the interview over the phone when he was about 16 months old. In the history it said he was saying 3-4 word sentences. HA! and a lot of other stuff, I know they put in to make it seem like he was more on target developmentally. I know better. What I worry about now that I've seen one of these. Do people who are looking to adopt and who rely on these things to give an accurate picture of the children they are adopting, getting what they read about? Has anyone else seen this problem?
And now, for some good news. We went in to file the final adoption paper work and now all we are waiting on is.........TO BE FINGER PRINTED AGAIN.......YES, our state has a new law we didn't know about. ANY ADOPTIVE PARENTS HAVE TO BE FINGER PRINTED between the time the final adoption paperwork is filed and the final court date. Did you get that.....between the time it's filed and the time of final adoption hearing. Our state gives 45 days between the two. It was taking up to 5 months to get finger prints back when the 18 yr old had to be finger printed in October! BUT the atty said he hasn't had to refile one yet.....since January. Comforting. By the way, the court does not care if you are foster parents and have been finger printed more than a prisoner at Sing Sing, you have to do it again, in the time frame above. How much more difficult could they make things?
Am I complaining too much?
Ok, I'm done now. I'm going to try and get some pictures from vacation up this weekend.

3 comments:

Jill said...

We received no files on our 3 kids,they couldn't find them.Then "poof" they reappeared full of wrong birthdates,foster placements and no mention of mental issues,which fosterparent told them about.A few things...Why will you no longer receive subsidy,medicaid and respite or daycare?In our adoption agreement we would not sign until we had all that in place,and we got it all.Another is make the case history read correct,because God forbid 1-10 yrs down the road you are having issues and the court comes back and says you signed these papers saying he was on target,healthy,happy blah blah,so they assume you screwed him up.We know to not trust (the agency)and we refused to sign until the records were correct,so we knew we could get all the resources we needed.Because once you sign and walk out that door,they say anything that happens with that child is because of you,not the yrs of abuse and neglect they had prior to your home.Its a sick sick system.Sorry just reliving our hell with (said agency).But I'm thrilled for you,and we are still on the path.Hang in their sister,and don't let them take advantage of ya'll.

D said...

We no longer get subsidy,medicaid and respite or daycare, in our state he is a healthy, white, "infant" boy. And does not qualify for those things or adoption assistance. (no help with adoption costs) Of course we knew all of that. But I find it strange they would stop every thing BEFORE the final adoption.

Jill said...

I thought of you today when we came across your fave Japanese resturaunt umminome???-or whatever its called in Marietta,we went to the Asian bookstore next door.Very fun.