Today at visitation Cry Baby's mom said:
She would like the clothes I bought for CB when he out grows them,to give to her nephew! Because she "knows" I get paid back for the clothes I buy!!! NOT LADY!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Where do these people get their information?? From LK?
No, lady. This is what happens. I get reimbursed for 50.00 worth of clothing (that takes 6-8 weeks for that to happen) But since he was placed with us when his foster home was closed we don't even get that, because the original foster placement used that. Now, what ever he needs comes out of my pocket and guess what? You'd be surprised how fast they grow, and how much clothes cost. Now in the fall, I will get a whole 'nuther 50.00 for clothing, but of course he'll need to wear those. And shoes must come out of that too. So just how many outfits, shoes, socks, ect do you think you can get for that? NOT much.
Just when you think you've heard it all...
**LK, I give you NO credit at all, other than your ignorance of the other side of the coin. Which by the way, never ceases to amaze me. You do know there are people out there who can not and will not take care of their kids. Meth addicts and crack addicts don't pay taxes, I find. So let's not say they contribute via their tax paying.
I dare you to raise an infant/Toddler on 250.00 a month. Please include in your calculations: FORMULA, bottles, clothes,(not dollar store or Goodwill) DIAPERS, wipes, daycare (because someone has to work to pay for this) older babies & toddlers need baby food, age proper snacks, sippy cups, more clothes, shoes, transportation to see the parents, your time and gas to do so. Taking time off work for multiple Dr visits, because they are always sick & never up to date on anything. Of course you'll need time and gas for that too. There is so much more, but I'll let you do the calculations for just these "few" things for now. Please do, get back to me on how your budget comes out. By my calculations over the years it comes out that I pay about 150.00 per month to be able to be a foster parent to children who have NO parents or relatives who can or will take them in.
By the way, the children leave my house with more than they ever came here with. If you don't count the health, love and stable home they have while here.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Today at visitation Cry Baby's mom said:
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
*UPDATE: We'll switch off days, you get a day of 100 degree temps and we get a day of rain. It sounds fair!
Whew! Its HOT out there!
YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN South WHEN. .. .
When birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. (who wants to go anywhere? It's too hot to breath.
Hot water now comes out of both taps. (honest, it does)
You can make sun tea instantly.
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
You discover that in JUNE it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. (It was 85 at 7:30 this morning)
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from layingboiled eggs.
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
Ah, what a place to call home. . . God Bless the South
Monday, June 22, 2009
I overheard a conversation of two teachers discussing a student.
Evidently the child wasn't the smartest kid in the class. One finished talking about how "not very smart" the child was. The other leaned in and said, in the only way a southern lady can. " Did you know she was adopted?" Adopted is said in a low whisper, like it's an ugly word, you don't want God knowing you said. (Only southern women can do this effectively.)
Ohhhhhhh, the other one said. Like that explained any and everything the kid ever did or didn't do.
This isn't the first time I've heard or been apart of, one version or another of this conversation.
I just wonder ...what's that supposed to mean? Are adopted kids assumed to be "not very smart"? Act out? Be angry?
Thursday, June 18, 2009
I know you're all surprised by that.
Why? Why? why? Do Bparents pick one thing to harp on?
Every one's choice around here seems to be diaper rash.
This new baby ( the 16 month old) We'll call him
Cry Baby, came to us with a small diaper rash. He is VERY fair skinned.
If he goes outside he turns bright red. That's just from the house to the car. That's how bad it is.
So needless to say, he has sensitive skin.
The Bparents visit him 3 times a week. They saw him yesterday(didn't say anything about a rash) and then again tonight. Transport brought him back & said bparent was upset because he had a terrible rash "all over, even his butt".
So I thought good grief what's happened in the last 2 hours. He was fine when he left here. The very small rash he came with, was clearing up. So I take him to change him and see what's going on. NOTHING, same healing rash, barely visible, but his butt was red from sitting in the car seat, even had the "wrinkle" print on there from the where the diaper bunched up. So my guess is he had that same print from the car ride to see them too.
But it was very evident it was not a rash, but where he had been sitting in the carseat.
This never ceases to make me blow a gasket. Because I know she will call the SW & make a huge to do about it. Then I will insist she come out and look at this "terrible" rash.
I know it's a control issue with the bparents. But it drives in crazy!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
I got another call this week for a 16 month old. Yet another home in our county has closed it's doors, so to speak. So those children in that home had to have somewhere to go. This makes more than a few closures of foster homes in a very short period of time.
For those of you just starting...please know this will take some kind of toll on you, your spouse, children, way of life, your marriage and all the relationships you have. You will not come out the other side unscathed. Yes, you can and I can stop at any time. But the need is great. But know there is a price to be paid. That price is different for each family.
Now to address a question I received:
Foster Care has it's detractors (and we know who some of them are) I have my issues with it too. Take away the "baby stealing issues" that some have, but there is still the very real issue of pure abandonment on the part of birth parents. You know, the ones who choose drugs & alcohol or who simply do not want the child and walk away never to be seen again. And relatives want no part of taking the child/ren. I've had 5 of those cases.
WHAT would you have happen to those children? No one stole those babies.
THEY WERE THROWN AWAY LIKE YESTERDAY'S TRASH. Yes, I'm yelling. Because it happens everyday, and I know it's not just where I live, it's everywhere.
No one will ever walk away from these children again. Because they have parents now. PARENTS who love them as though they were their very own. Guess what? and they are their very own. Don't ever tell me, my child is not mine. I will laugh at you and ignore your ignorant butt...and my 3 yr old will push you and tell you to leave his mama alone.
Sunday, June 07, 2009
The first picture is of my grandaughter and the Boy after a quick swim. She's the cutest thing in the whole world, but mean as a snake!
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Once again the cool moms at www.momcentral.com gave me some great info to pass along.
For the past three years, Wendy's has made it a Father's Day Frosty Weekend tradition to donate 50 cents from the sale of each Frosty to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. The money raised goes to the Wendy's Wonderful Kids program, which funds full-time adoption recruiters at local agencies across the U.S., who in turn pair up parents with foster care children needing homes. So, you and your family can enjoy a tasty (and affordable!) Frosty together, knowing this campaign assists children across the country in finding a family of their own.
Now the really cool part:
Go to www.frostycard.com and you can send the dad in your life a cool free Father's day card and Wendy's will donate another .25 cents to the Foundation!
Alot of people have no idea that Dave Thomas was adopted and has a huge foundation he started for foster care and adoption. If you'd like to find out more about the foundation, you can go here:
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
You may not agree or be happy I'm putting voice to my thoughts.
*Please remember The Boy is not our first adoption. Just our first from foster care. So I know of which I speak* We don't label adopted vs. got big&fat & had terrible labor dragging your butt into this world, around here. Matter of fact all my kids have "issues". So this is not knocking adoption or trying to scare you away.
I just believe we all need a dose of reality in this crazy foster care / adoption world we find ourselves living in.
My point is genetics will trump environment 99.9% of the time. We have lived this experiment, if you will.
Most of you read many, many different adoption or foster care blogs, but I realized nobody, but NOBODY tells it like it is, better than Cindy Brodie. Who has been at this for something like 20 years & adopted something like 39 kids from foster care.
Maybe you read Cindy and know what she goes through and have thought of adoption with her words of wisdom ringing in your ears...but then I realized maybe you've never heard of her or run across her blog. So I thought I would share. Because I think ANYBODY who is adopting, especially from foster care must read her blog.
Here is a little excerpt from this morning that struck me:
" I suppose the book I eventually will want to publish will be about the REALITY of adoption from the foster care system, it's not very pretty"
Go visit Cindy. Read her archives. But don't blame me if you loose your whole day & find yourself weeping & thinking & rethinking.
I'd be interested in what you think or what you've learned.